It was a typical Tuesday afternoon at the office when these not to typical thoughts were flying through my mind.
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“I wonder how many times people let their greatest masterpieces stay hidden from the world. I wonder why humanity doesn’t always push forward their best work or lets it dissolve in the dark before it can be fully appreciated. And I wonder if we will discover people’s passive wonders in a thousand years to come.”
 
Perhaps…

Perhaps I should explain these rambling mid-work thoughts.

I was logging onto my email account when I noticed a web article that caught my attention. Normally I am very resistant to online articles and ads, because they are often the spawn of Satan trying to spam their way into my world. But for some reason my usual precautionary web roaming defenses were down while I scrolled over the article that read “2,000-year-old computer discovered”.

“What?” I thought to myself. “That can’t be right. We’ve only had computers for a few decades, not a few dozen centuries.”

The article continued to explain that a few decades ago, a Greek archaeologist found a gear of a wheel embedded in a rock as he was examining an old shipwreck. Upon recent re-examination, researchers discovered the mechanism in the rock to be a very complex and very ancient analog computer. Not only was I shocked that something like that existed thousands of years ago, but I was even more shocked to learn that a mechanism that complex wasn’t known to be used until the 14th century, over a thousand years after it’s existence.

For over a thousand years that piece of equipment was submerged under water, in the dark, eroding away. “Did the architect know that over two thousand years later that I would be reading about this little invention on a Samsung computer with another micro computer (aka cell phone) in my pocket? Did he or she know how far their work could have gone had it not been sunk under the sea? Could their invention have sped up humanity’s technological progress by a thousand years?”

This story is down-right remarkable. Humanity eventually got there. We use computers in a variety of ways in our everyday life; but could we have gotten their faster? Did that individual’s work see it’s fullest potential? No. Because it only saw the sea. 
 
Now I wonder, what works are submerged in my being that I haven’t let see the light of day? Perhaps they once seemed insignificant.  Perhaps I am too afraid of what others will think. Perhaps they once seemed too costly or time-consuming to complete.

Well, perhaps it is time to rediscover the brilliance inside of me. And perhaps it is time to rediscover the brilliance inside of you. Don’t let your best work sit around collecting dust. Don't let it decay in the dark. Take a risk today and let the world see your submerged  brilliance.

My parents pastored small churches for most of my life. 

I, to my great surprise, began to follow in their ministerial footsteps by becoming a youth pastor at a young age and later attending a Christian university. I went into college with a few years of ministry under my belt, and I assumed I would finish my college career only to go back into youth ministry a sharper, well equipped pastor. 

However, during my time at my university, the Lord began to shift my heart and unfold a new and unexpected plan for my life. After graduation, I was still wrestling with my calling and searching out this shifting 

My friends seemed instantly successful. They launched into their, artistic and business endeavors with what seemed like, at least from a distance, sheer ease.

Those who didn’t jump into their career were traveling, getting married, or getting their Master’s degree. They all seemed to be breaking ahead of me, leaving me in the dust.

I began to feel “late” to every dream in my life as I watched others break ahead.  I was like a rocket, ready to launch but with no place to go: aimless.

While experiencing my quarter-life crisis, my dad offered these words, “Jen, it’s not what you have; it’s what you give to what you have”. It’s that sort of Dad-like advice that always comes in in the clutch.  

What made these words especially impactful to my restless heart, was that my dad lived this very sentence out every day of his life. I watched him toil tirelessly for the faithful congregants who sat in those blue Sunday morning church pews. I experienced his relentless care and provision for our family.
 
And now, once again, my dad was caring for me in the way my heart needed most. His simple statement and effortless wisdom changed my view of success for the rest of my life.  
 
Greatness isn’t found in my following, it’s found in my character and care of others. 
 
The deep work the Lord does in me will eventually be a deep work He does through me. And deep work takes more time. I want my life to be swimming in the depth of God and His purposes rather than the shallow end of my own expectations. So, I’m becoming okay with the detours from my dreams and the longer routes to greatness. And I am incredibly grateful for a father who can show me the way. 

Sitting in a quiet anti-mall at the end of a dimly lit hallway in the opening hours of this very hipster Northern California market.  I can hear the echoes of a hustling and bustling coffee shop down the way as I read about the “food and drink” miracles Jesus performed in the Bible. One such miracle is known as “the feeding of the five thousand” found in Matthew 14.
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This a very famous miracle in the Bible. So. as I read this passage, I’m trying my best to get a sense of the hunger and thirst that the crowds and disciples must have felt in these stories; however, this is admittedly quite difficult for me as I sip on this strong and quite rich espresso. I finally set the coffee cup down and try to feel the frustration and weariness of the disciples as they are hand over some kid’s lunch to Jesus. I try empathizing with the hungry crowd who were probably shoulder to shoulder as they gathered around Jesus to hear Him speak.

If you’ve heard about this miracle, you know that Jesus remarkably feeds over 5,000 people with only a few loaves and fish. However, it may come as a shock to you that the crowd didn’t come to Jesus that day for food. Their spiritual leader, John the Baptist, was just murdered. So, these people were probably experiencing mourning, crippling emptiness, and intense grief. They were looking for answers, for comfort, for guidance.  But Jesus didn’t address their grief-stricken spiritual hunger alone; He met their most practical need before getting to their deepest suffering.

The extraordinary truth for us in these passages comes to us in a humble sack lunch from a boy: Jesus rarely does what we expect Him to do. Sure, this is a down-right amazing miracle, but it isn’t what the people were after.  

Far too often, I am intensely focused on what I think is my most urgent struggle. It clouds my mind and I can’t see anything else no matter how hard I try. “If I could just get this fixed, all would be well”. So, I bring my cloudiness to the Lord expecting Him to meet me in a very particular “a,b,c as easy as 1,2,3” sort of way. Instead, He usually meets me in ways I would have never expected nor asked for. I then proceed to walk away from these experiences baffled and scratching my head. Because while my “urgent need” seemed to go unaddressed by the Lord, I am somehow full.

Jesus is after wholeness in our lives, and He knows what we need. But what Jesus is really after is us, and us knowing Him. He isn’t just after our relief; He’s after our hearts. Jesus doesn’t want us to experience miracles for experience’ sake; He is always trying to show us more of who He is. In every season and situation of our lives, Jesus is working to deepen our relationship with Him.

So, when we are caught in the mystery and messiness of life, let’s simply come to Jesus.  Let’s trust that He is for us, and that He is the best person to take care of every part of our being.